I waited a long time before I could hear the three men in the next room talking about me. “I think she is a pretty lovely person and will fit into the team nicely,” The assessor said to Henry and Jake.

“Dr Jones, we all know she is too young,” Jake said, I could hear his footsteps getting closer to the glass.

“I remember a young seventeen year old boy who was taken on by me and Blake, someone who is now going to become captain,” Dr Jones reminded Jake.

“Don’t talk about the captain thing, anyone could be listening to us,” Jake snapped at Dr Jones.

“You believed in me Jake and I was a mess,” Henry added siding for me.

“She delicate, she won’t make it past training Hen,” Jake said back to Henry as his footsteps moved away from the window.

“She can try Jake,” Henry said “I have seen what she can do,”

“One day Henry, I will give her one day to prove to me she is supposed to be here,” Jake said softy to Henry, then his tone changed and he continued “If she messes up, she is going home.”

“Jake she won’t let you down,” Henry chirped running toward the door before coming to a stop when Jake added “No she won’t because you’re going with her.”

“What?” Henry exclaimed “I had to do basic training four times when I was trying to get into the team!”

“Exactly, you should be an expert,” Jake cockily said to Henry and Henry laughed. 

People Change.

“Maybe it was wrong for me to think I could turn to you, turn to you in my hour of need,” Lee snapped at me as I tried to comprehend our new situation. A man I thought was dead only a minute ago was trying to lecture me about not being there for him. He paced in front of me and watch for my response. I opened my mouth and he stopped pacing “You were the one who said that you wanted to have fun, that I was holding you back from being young and single,” I said and he laughed, walking away “I was seventeen, you can’t hold it against me,” he whispered. I started to well up “I was only fifteen, we had been inseparable for four years and then you joined the army and I was told you were MIA,” I chocked as the tears started to fall. “You’re trying to say you can’t help me now because of something that happened three years ago?” He asked, I stood up and shook my head, I sucked the tears up and walked to my draws, and I pulled out my house keys and gave them to him.  

“Take them Lee, I don’t know what your new situation means,” I said to him looking right into his eyes. As I turned to walk away he said “Is this what we have become?” I didn’t turn around, I didn’t even want to acknowledge the question. “I loved you once Emma, I missed you every day I was away,” he told me.

“It didn’t stop you sleeping with all those other girls did it,” I snapped back.

“Don’t act like you didn’t fall for my charms like they did because you did, over and over again,” His bitter voice crushed me inside, the young thirteen year old boy I had met just five years ago was long gone and the man that had replaced him was someone I didn’t like. “Get out Lee, I will see you when I am on leave,” I muttered opening the door. Lee’s face sunk as I opened the door and stood there was Jake, the man that also taken in interest in me. A man Lee didn’t think was good enough for me and I just stood there, I didn’t know what to do or what they were going to do. 

You remember it all.

“Emma, what happened to you?” Lee said running up to me as I opened the door. His skin burnt slightly in the sun light before I closed the door. “You were right, they were not to be trusted,” I whispered as I slouched into my chair, head pounding and heart broken.

“I knew I was right about him,” Lee smirked before walking into the kitchen to get me some water.

“No, you weren’t right about him, he saved me from them,” I replied but it was too painful to continue.

“Have a good night’s rest, you will feel better in the morning,” Lee urged me.

“Will I forget in the morning?” I asked him, tears in my eyes.

“No, you will probably never forget,” Lee replied as he put a blanket over me “One thing about being a soldier is you remember, you remember it all,”


“But you loved it,” I whimpered.


“Because I liked to think I was doing more good in the world then bad,” He said before holding my hand “You will want to go back there one day, back for answers and when you do, they will pay for this,” he turned my hand over and rubbed his finger gently over the scratches before leaving me to rest.


New Laptop.

My beautiful HP laptop died about 6 months ago and since I haven’t had the balls to go out and spend the money on a new one. However yesterday I took the money from my 21st birthday and I got a little Lablet. I can now write properly again as I have been writing on pen and paper and I have been all over the place.

This is a new start for me and my writing, also my blogging. I can blog more and stretch that writing muscle again because it has got a little lazy.

A character I love.

Henry Reed is a character in my novel that I find so easy to write. After not writing for a year it seems everything just flows when it comes to Henry and its like other character are easier to write when Henry is involved. It’s hard to describe all of Henry because he is so dynamic but I have taken a few sections of the Book to show you. I hope you enjoy.


As I tossed and turned I was joined by a very drunken Henry, he stumbled and knocked over a plant that was decorating the room. “Oops,” he whispered as he tried drunkenly to prop the plant back up. “Em is everyone asleep?” he slurred in my direction.

“Yes, everyone is asleep; the question is why are you not sleeping?” I asked as he slumped into the chair to my left “One, the room is spinning, two, I know that in the morning we have to leave,” he sighed as he finish his sentence and then folded his arms like a child who was not getting their way.

“I was thinking the same,” I told him to try and bring him out of his mood.

“You mean the room is actually spinning?” he chirped as he sat up in the chair.

“No, Henry, I meant about having to leave,” I sighed, he was very slow when he was drunk.

“I like it here,” He snapped at me as if it was me who was making us move.

“They won’t move us far Henry, if at all and if they do move us, they will be moving us back the West Virginia,” I said as I tried to make things seem alright.


Vicky looked at Henry “Get out Vicky,” Henry said before even looking at her. Henry looked at me and said “Em, that man loves you and I don’t care if it takes him a hundred years to admit it. More importantly, he needs you. Please just think before you keep getting yourself into trouble because if something happens to you, Jake might as well be dead too,” he turned to walk away and continued “Sorry about the heavy kid but times are getting rough and we all need you,”


Layla was still confused about what the others had said during conversation and sat with a puzzled look on her face. I didn’t have the energy to ask what was wrong with her but Henry finally noticed. “What’s wrong Layla?” he started.

“I don’t understand, I thought this drug running thing was just bad people doing bad things but now…” Layla didn’t finish speaking probably because she didn’t understand.

“It could be anyone,” Jake said as he changed seats so he was sat next to me. “Layla and I are going to bed now,” Henry said pulling Layla out her seat.

“Are we?” Layla said.

“Yes Layla,” Henry said winking at her and they both walked away giggling.

“Don’t they just sound like teenagers?” Jake asked.

“Yes,” I replied with a smile.

Let’s try this writing thing again…

The air was never cool in Miami, it always seemed to be humid and warm, a far cry from where I called home back in England. I sat back on the sofa ready to read my book and Jake slid a plate of food across the table in front of me “The doctor said you needed to have a good meal, so I cooked you something,” Jake said in a soft tone. His facial expression seemed to be a confused one, like he didn’t actually know what to say to me or he didn’t know how to say what he wanted too.

“Thank you,” I replied pleasantly surprised. I looked at him and said “And thank you for today,” He looked at me and the expression on his face changed. Jake was a man that you could read his emotion from his face, his face told a story and it move around when he was confused. He didn’t say anything for a while and then he unexpectedly blurted out with a shudder  “Do you blame me?” He clearly thought the answer to be yes from the fact his eyes were half closed and he wouldn’t look at me. I shook my head “No,” I replied.

“Are you just saying that because I am your superior?” He said with a totally straight face but I couldn’t help but laugh, he looked at me and smiled “What’s so funny?” he asked. Jake was the kind of guy that took a while to come around to speaking to you but once he was talking, he became pretty light hearted and easy to talk to.

“The fact that you think I would lie because you are my superior is hysterical,” I said as I stopped laughing, he lent forward, his t-shirt clung to him and I could see all of his muscle tighten. I tried hard not to stare at him but I had seen this man naked, one very drunken night while we were visiting England. Our relationship hadn’t been the same since.  He said “So, you really don’t think I messed up?”

“Not at all,” I said as I leant forward trying to mirror his actions. I had not realised that I was wearing a low cut top and my boobs were basically popping out when I leant forward. I only noticed when Jake couldn’t look anywhere else but my chest. I leant back and smiled, he shook his head. The serious look he was usually sporting returned to his face and he left the room. I put my plate in the kitchen and I decided to go to bed.


2 years on WordPress.

word press anaversert

Two years is a long journey. Especially going from being 18 to 20. It has really gone too fast and although I haven’t been blogging lately people who I have met have continued to be a big part of my life.

Today I will start from scratch. I have started to hate my blog, the longer I was away from it that hard it was to come back but I want writing to be a big part of my life and I shouldn’t have cast it aside because everything changing. This year has been huge for me and it’s not finished yet. Luckily I am finishing on a high note and spending New Year in Florida.

This year started on a good note. In a hotel in Paris with Ben. Perfect really. I arrived back in England and within a few week my niece was born. She means everything to me. She is my little sunshine.


By the End of march my Parents 23 year marriage had come to an end and they had both moved out. I turned 20 in April and four days after that marked one year since my Granddad had died. I missed him more then ever then. Everything was going wrong and he wasn’t here to help guild us. In May, June and July, I worked a lot to pay the bills and we are now in August and things are finally looking a bit brighter.


In two days we will be christening Hollie and acting like a family. My two sisters and I really pulled rank and are now closer then ever. Two days after that I will have been with Benjamin for 5 years and he has been my rock. There isn’t many 20 years old that would stick by you no matter what, who would buy you food when you have no money, who would take you away for your birthday just so you could have a few day away from the carnage that was home and that would love you no matter how much you pushed them away.

Writing is my passion and I hope to be writing more soon. Thank you all of you how read my post and I hope to bring you more happy memories from now on.

Such a beautiful boy my Benji.

Such a beautiful boy my Benji.